1. In what ways does knowledge of Tannen's theory make us better or worse communicators? Make sure your answer includes examples from real life and identifies specific communication encounters that Tannen discusses in her theory (e.g., report v. rapport talk, etc.).
Deborah Tannen developed genderlect styles of communication in the 1990s. Genderlect is “a term suggesting that masculine and feminine styles of discourse are best viewed as two distinct cultural dialects” (Griffin, p. 385). Tannen’s theory describes how men and women communicate differently, depending on the circumstances, such as when they are listening, telling a story, or when there is conflict.
In my own experiences, I have seen this play out massively. I will give people those nonverbal cues — I will smile or nod, give noises of agreement (typically a mhm or an uh-huh), all just to show I am listening and am paying attention. When I am talking to others and I do not get those nonverbal cues, I assume they aren’t listening to me. In addition, I have had conversations with men (mainly my boyfriend) where I will give those nonverbal cues, and he will assume that I’m not listening because of that. He doesn’t see those nonverbals as a yes, I am listening, but more of a I’m only reacting like this so you think I’m listening.
Knowledge of Tannen’s theory, I think, can make us better communicators. Being aware of what style of communication you most use and what that means can improve your communication simply because you are aware of it. In addition, being aware of how other people may communicate based on their own genderlect style can help how you communicate with those people.
Listening is a huge part of communication — and there is a masculine and feminine style when it comes to listening. The feminine style as defined by Tannen says that women exhibit nonverbal cues (such as nodding, smiling, eye contact) to show that they are listening and paying attention; the masculine style as explained by Tannen says that men will not exhibit those cues, as it places them in a more submissive position (Griffin, p. 387).
2. What social groups to which you belong shape your standpoint? In other words, how do they affect your worldview? Are some more influential than others?
The Standpoint Theory is a theory that involves two pieces: standpoint and social location. The standpoint is “a perspective achieved through critical reflection on power relations and their consequences that opposes the status quo” (Griffin, p. 396). Our standpoint depends on one’s social location, or “our group memberships that shape our experience of the world and our ways of understanding it” (Griffin, p. 396).
I’d say there are many social groups that I am a part of that have shaped my standpoints in life, but one of the most impactful is being a member of the LGBTQ+ community. I’m bisexual, and a large majority of my friend group when I was in high school (and now again in college) are also queer in some way. Being LGBTQ+ myself, and being surrounded by people in the community, has shaped many of my worldviews; for example, I have different worldviews from those who are not in this social group — I have gotten into arguments with others about standpoints I have about different LGBTQ+ issues.
There are other social groups I belong to that still do shape standpoints I have, but are many not as influential as others. For example, I would say I belong to a social group online of people who watch different Minecraft Twitch Streamers; from this, I have various opinions surrounding the game itself and watching streams. However, I would not say they are as important or influential as the standpoints and worldview I have because of my being in the LGBTQ+ community.
4. Imagine that Julia Wood and Deborah Tannen were delivering a seminar at Target Corporation. What advice would they give a man seeking to improve his communication with female colleagues? This answer should explain differences and similarities among the two theories.
Deborah Tannen, who founded the genderlect theory, would advise the man seeking to improve his communication with female colleagues to simply learn about more feminine styles of communication. Understanding how others speak and attempting to speak in their style can vastly improve not only communication, but the relationship between the communicating parties.
Julia Wood, on the other hand, would advise him to adjust his social location to place him in groups where women are more present. He could then learn from those social groups, and find different standpoints that women hold and then he could view the world in the same way. Having similar standpoints on topics does improve communication and relationships as well, because there will be less discourse in the communication.
Genderlect and Standpoint theories can both show how men and women differ — and how the opinions of each can be vastly different, based on where their social location is. For example, the genderlect theory goes into detail on how communication styles between a man and a woman are different. It shows how men and women listen differently (women will give nonverbal cues to show they are listening, whereas men see those nonverbal cues as an act of submission), how men and women ask questions differently (women will ask questions to establish a connection, whereas men see asking questions as a way of exposing their ignorance), and how men and women conduct public speaking differently (women will talk more in private, whereas men will vie for dominance and command attention in public). With these different styles, it’s difficult to really see the differences unless you engage in different social groups, specifically those that show the other style of communication. Being engaged in that community and observing the different styles of communication can better your communication with different genders, thus improving your communication overall.
Hi Sophie! Nicely put and a very enjoyable read! I loved how everything flowed together. I agree with your stance on nonverbal cues and how they can be misinterpreted and misjudged in comparative ways. Sometimes I too find myself in predicaments where my nonverbal cues and silence is mistaken for not listening and completely downright rude. In reality that's not it at all but it is something however that I am choosing to work on. In addition, I liked how you were able to compare and contrast the similarities and differences between both Tannen and Wood's approaches to their respective theories and applications. Once again, really good job on your blog post !
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